Maybe it’s just me… and then again, maybe it’s not. Are you afraid of your own greatness?
I just finished editing my 125th yoga video from Friday's live streamed low back class. Great class. Loved my yoga outfit. My silliness. How much I love teaching yoga, my amazing, supportive yoga community…the community chats before and the private more personal chats after. How strong and grounded I feel after practice. So many amazing things, yet here I am thinking… I am afraid of my own greatness. Why don’t I put my yoga videos out there for the public…? Why have I waited so long? What am I waiting for? And then the self-saboteur, as I like to call her, comes in and says, “oh your video is too long. All the videos online are around 25 minutes or less. They’re all filled with HIIT workouts, have music, hardly any posture cueing, their editing is stellar, their background is beautiful, they have 1 million followers…The yoga industry is saturated. Drenched with millions of teachers, consumed with being the best, doing it right. There is SO much yoga out there. Millions and millions of teachers doing it better than me, blah blah blah.” Self-Saboteur at her finest…
So…I finish editing, (which takes me a long time because I am a perfectionist) wait for the mp4 file to write on iMovie, then go to my YouTube channel, wait another two and some hours for the video to upload, and then post the final recording on my website for my members only page. It’s a process. I have loads of time to talk myself out of making this recording “public” and I always do…every time.
What am I afraid of? It’s not really about the video. It’s about me. Is what I have to offer something other people can relate to? Does the way I teach…help? I hesitate to put myself out there because I don’t want to fail. Nobody wants to fail. We all want to feel successful. It’s hard to take a chance on myself. AND there comes a moment when I have to decide if it is better to not take the chance and not have that success …?? or if it is better to take that leap of faith knowing that I may fall flat on my face? I think it comes down to bravery. Am I courageous enough? I can be fearful, yes. And fear is debilitating, 100%.
Courage is the action that lives behind that soft whisper of greatness, quietly saying, “you’ve got this!"
What would happen if YOU took a chance on your dreams and desires? What would happen if you believed in yourself? What would happen if you took that new job? What would happened if you spoke your truth to that person? What would happen if you embraced your greatness? Your gifts are meant to be shared with the world. How ridiculously awesome that all sounds and yet we have trouble really stepping out there in our own shoes, taking those courageous steps. Now is a perfect time for believing in yourself and taking a chance on discovering your greatness. You've got this. I've got this. We're in this together.
So here I am celebrating one full year of teaching yoga online. It’s been amazing and a whole lot of awful, scary, and wonderful all wrapped into one strange trip. Happy Anniversary to me and to all those how have joined, stayed, tried it once, or stop in from time to time. Thank you! It’s been the most strangest of times and one a hell of a ride. So here we go..forward-together-stronger and more courageous.
I made this class public. Someday I’ll probably look back and think…how silly of me to hide my gifts away and unlisted…. Check it out, here and subscribe to my channel. More to come.
Thank you for reading. Be well. Stay strong. Stay connected and here’s to our greatness!
Namaste ~ Tess
Tess Conrad, E-RYT
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